Let Your Autistic Child be a Kid

Many parents with Autistic children are afraid to let their child be a kid. They get so wrapped up in their child's treatment they forget to let them have fun. They focus on keeping them safe, and become to protective. The child's life becomes full of doctors, or therapy appointments. They get little time to just be a kid. While it is important to keep your child safe it is also important to give them time to do things they like. Here are some things you can do to make sure your child gets to be a kid.

1. Give your Autistic child a certain time each day to do whatever they want to. If they have a toy or game they like to play let them. Everyone needs a break from doctors appointments and such.

2. Arrange activities for your child that they like. This could be something like a trip to the park once a week, or a meal at their favorite restaurant. Let the child pick the activity. Maybe they would like some time to spend with grandma, or grandpa.

3. Let them run and play like the other kids. Kids like to run and play in the dirt. This will not hurt them. Let them be a kid and have fun. Keeping them sheltered will not help them. It will make them more afraid of being around other kids. If they show an interest let them play with the other children. Let the get dirty. They will come clean with a bath.

4. Do not teach your child to be a victim. Just because they are Autistic does not mean they can not have a normal life. They need to be taught to not let their condition stop them in life. Teach your Autistic child they can do anything they set out to do.

5. Do not let your child's diagnosis of Autism become an excuse. Give your child consequences if they do something wrong. Do not let them get away with things simply because they are Autistic. Children learn pretty quick that the excuse of their condition can get them special treatment. This will not help them later on in life.

6. Give your Autistic child chores. Make sure they are chores the child is capable of doing. This will give the child the pride of knowing they can accomplish something. Give them rewards for completing the chores. The chores could be as simple as making their bed, or picking up their toys.

7. Do not lower your expectations for your Autistic child. Teach them to always do their best. Having a medical condition should not give them a reason to not try. If they do not try they will never know their full potential.

Kids get hurt. They get dirty. That is all a part of being a kid. They will be much happier. Do your part and watch over them, but allow them to have some freedom. Even though your child has special needs allow them the chance to be a child.

Bad Apples on the Family Tree

The news that a child in the family is autistic is most often met with a number of reactions. While all family members, even extended, would be supportive in an ideal world, the sad truth is that many are disgusted or disappointed. Does a family member scold the autistic child often? Does he or she look at your autistic child unfairly?

Does this family member insist on treating your autistic child the same way he or she treats all the other children in your family, even when it is inappropriate? These are signs that this relative is not receptive to either your autistic child or the situation. This may often be the case when discovering a child is autistic, so as a parent, be aware and prepared for this to happen.

Often, unreceptive relatives simply do not understand what autism is or what it means for your child and your immediate family. Though many see autism as a mental retardation, many autistic children and adults are highly intelligent; they are just unable to communicate this in the same ways that others would. Try explaining what autism means to this family member, and have him or her spend some time with you and your autistic child. Allow them to see the effects of autism and the methods you can use to cope.

If the family member continues to be unsupportive or refuses your explanation, ask why this family member is so unreceptive to the situation. Are they scared of hurting the child? Are they worried about the added responsibility when spending time with the child? Perhaps they feel guilty or are embarrassed. If you can pinpoint why a family member is unreceptive, you can better address the issue and hopefully help him or her overcome their original perceptions.

Perhaps no amount of talking or spending time together will help this family member overcome their prejudice. If this person has stubbornly made up his or her mind, you will never be able to show him or her how beautiful your son or daughter is-autism and all. If this is the case, eliminating this person from your life may be difficult, but it will also rid you and your child of this family member's negative energy and personality.

In this developing situation, you need the best positive support available. Remember that other family members have been supportive; that your children are adjusting well and are a source of strength for you. Strengthen your support network by participating in parent support groups for autistic children. And remember that you can surround yourself with those who do accept and love your child-family or not.

Accepting the Diagnosis of Autism

Receiving a diagnosis of Autism can seem overwhelming. You may be left with a lot of unanswered questions about the diagnosis. You might be thinking the diagnosis is wrong. This cannot be happening to your child. There are different feelings and emotions you will experience when dealing with a diagnosis of Autism. Here are some of the ways you might be feeling, and ways to come to terms with the diagnosis.

Denial

Denial is a common feeling when dealing with any medical problem. Sometimes it is easier to deny that there is even a problem. Some parents do not want to consider that there could be something wrong with their child. So they pretend like there is nothing wrong. The doctor was wrong, their child is perfectly normal. Being in denial about the diagnosis will not help anything. The sooner that you accept that your child is Autistic the better both of you will be. The condition will not go away if you ignore it. Accepting the diagnosis and moving on will be a huge step for you as a parent to take. The quicker this is done the sooner you can start looking into treatment options.

Anger

Anger is one of the emotions you might feel when you get a diagnosis of Autism. You might be angry with yourself, or angry with God. Why is your child Autistic. You might be angry with other parents that have healthy children. This is a normal feeling to experience. Remember while you are feeling angry to think of all the great things about your child. Share your feelings with others. Keeping anger bottled up can be a bad thing.

Grief

Sometimes when a parent gets a diagnosis of Autism they go though a grieving period. They are sad that their child has something wrong with them. They may be feeling sad that the dreams they had for their child may have to change. They might be sad over the way the world will treat their child, and the hardships they will face. Grief is a normal emotion to go through. The key is to get through the grief, and on to the acceptance. Try not to look at the things that are wrong. There will have to be some adjustments made to your plans for your child's future. That is what life is all about , change. If you find yourself unable to move past the grieving stage you might need to talk to someone. It might help having a few therapy sessions to deal with the feelings you are experiencing.

Acceptance

Finally coming to terms with the diagnosis of Autism can take awhile. Some people are just glad to have an answer to what is wrong with their child. Others have a hard time accepting their child is different from other kids. Eventually you will accept that your child is different, and that is okay. Once you have accepted the diagnosis of Autism you can start to help your child. Do all the research you can on Autism. Think about how hard it is for your child. They need you to be behind them in their treatments one hundred percent. The first step to doing this is acceptance.

Aspies for Freedom Critical Of Genetic Testing

An organization made up of Asperger’s Syndrome patients, their loved ones, and those who may suffer from other autism related disorders, Aspies for Freedom is an enigma in the advocacy for the autism movement. Rather than supporting the search for a cure, they instead believe that Asperger’s syndrome, autism, and related conditions are simply an expression of being different, not something that requires curing.

This flies in the face of most autism charities that have active fundraising efforts with a light on spending at good share of the money on genetic research. This of course gives rise to the fear that – much like Down syndrome – a genetic test that could positively identify the presence of autism or Asperger’s Syndrome in an unborn child would lead to a large number of elective abortions. Just like many prospective parents choose to terminate a pregnancy when a child is considered likely to suffer from Down syndrome, Aspies believe that such tests will reduce the number of autistic and Asperger’s Syndrome children being born.

What makes this a dangerous proposition is the fact that many Aspies find that with proper adaptations, the quality of life that may be enjoyed by them is similar to that of those unaffected by the disorders. To this end, Aspies for Freedom argue that instead of funding genetic research, monies donated to autism foundations and charities should be used for finding and implementing the proper modifications and adaptations for current learning tools and utensils.

This of course brings up an excellent point: should Asperger’s Syndrome and autism be approached as diseases which may be eradicated via the genetic selection process, or should they be incorporated into mainstream consciousness as conditions which simply demand a different approach to everyday common tasks? Aspies would argue vociferously for the latter, while a good many scientists would like to approach the entire situation from a different angle and prevent or cure the conditions.

Curing autism or Asperger’s Syndrome is of course not possible at this point, and many Aspies point to an inadequate support system as being unpardonable in light of so many fundraisers and assistance drives that have resulted in a lot of monetary support for the cause. In addition to the foregoing, the search for prevention – via genetic testing – or a cure with the help of questionable method that many Aspies believe to do more harm than good is resulting in a wrong approach to the condition as a whole, focusing on future generations instead of current sufferers.

It is unlikely that Aspies for Freedom and those in search for autism or Asperger’s Syndrome cures will every see eye to eye. Moreover, there is little reason to believe that foundations and fundraisers will be swayed by their arguments. Although not considered a fringe group, Aspies have failed, thus far, to commandeer its fair share of support that is usually offered to the autism charities and overall community at large, most likely deepening the rift between those who would like to see modernized support and those who would want to see more genetic and medical research done.

How to Cope as a Parent of an Autistic Child

Having an Autistic child can be very hard, and rewarding at the same time. Some days will go according to plan, and others will make you want to climb back in bed. You will need a way to cope to stay strong for you child. Here are some ways of coping when you have a child with Autism.

Support Group

Find a local support group in your area for parents with Autistic children. They will understand what you are going through. They have been there or are going through the same things you are. Sometimes having someone to talk to that understands can make a huge difference. They may have suggestions that can help in your daily routines. Sometimes it is just nice to have someone to talk to other than a doctor or therapist.

Journals

Writing in a journal can be a great coping mechanism. It allows you to express your feelings and thoughts. This journal can be a place to let out all of your frustrations as a parent of an autistic child. No one else has to read the journal. It can be a private place to vent. Sometimes just writing can help relieve stress and anxiety you might be feeling. Your journal can also be a place to keep track of behaviors your child has on a day to day basis.

Get away

Everyone needs time to their self. This is true whether you are dealing with an Autistic child, or any other medical problem. Find a qualified care giver for your child and get out. Have a date night with your spouse, or just get away for some alone time. Go watch that movie you wanted to see. Run some errands that are hard to take your child along too. Just give your self some away time. If you cannot leave the house make some time after your child has gone to bed for a relaxing bath. Just give yourself some time to unwind. It will make things better for you and your child.

Ask for help

Every mom tries to be a super mom. They do not want to ask for help because that means they cannot do it alone. Forget this attitude. Having a child with Autism requires help. If you are becoming stressed and overwhelmed it is not good for you or your child. Sometimes we all need help. If you are trying a treatment and it is not improving things with your Autistic child ask the doctor for another way. Ask someone such as your spouse to help with the errands. Sometimes it is too hard to take your Autistic child out without some sort of struggle. Getting someone to do simple tasks for you can save time and frustrations. If you need help ask. No one can read your mind, you have to tell them you need help.

Having an Autistic child is a hard job. Having ways to cope will make your job easier. It will also make things better for your child by having you calm and stress free.